“Depression and anxiety can’t fit in your head if you’re cultivating feelings of joy and inspiration.” ~ Austin Butler
Life is a journey that is actually full of emotions and feelings. Everything that happens in our life we have attached an emotion to it. In fact, if you think of any event from the past(even yesterday) the emotion attached to that event is what you feel first when you think about it.
Its amazing how everything we are, is a sum total of the feelings and emotions we have been through. But, sometimes the emotions feel too BIG to handle in certain situations. And that is very normal. We all can feel overwhelmed when we feel these big emotions coming on. They are often triggered by life-changing decisions or events.
Many unhealed souls like to brush their emotions under the rug and get on with their life, because it is easier not to deal with those big emotions. I know, I was one of those souls for so long!! But in the long run these big emotions become emotional scars, which become harder to heal from. They can manifest in the form of anxiety, depression, panic, anger, control issues, substance abuse etc. The most healing and positive way forward is to feel the emotion and then learn how to process it.
A Positive Step-by-Step Guide to Handling Any BIG Emotion
When you feel like you are having a BIG emotion that you can’t process, these steps will help you handle it positively:
- Acknowledge: Say- “Hi (anxiety/stress/any emotion) I see you showing up right now.” I know it sounds small, but labeling your emotion separates you from your emotion and helps you regain control. You are reminding your brain: My feelings are not me. My emotions are a wave and I am the surfer who can ride these waves.
- Self-validate: Say- “It’s ok that you (the emotion) are here right now, even if I don’t know exactly why. Stay for as long as you need to.” Emotions get bigger when we push them away. They dissolve when we allow them to exist.
- Explore: Ask- “Is this a problem I need to solve, or an emotion I need to feel?” Let your emotions talk to you(it’s actually what they are there for) and they’ll tell you exactly what your system really needs.
- Process: Notice, where the feeling shows up in your body. How it sounds in your thoughts. What sensations are you feeling in that moment. Understand, that emotions are like waves, they rise and then they fall(if we let them). Allow yourself to ride the wave. You may feel a huge rush of emotion, but what goes up must come down. Now just feel.
- Integrate: Talk to your emotions, be in a conversation with them, ask what they need. If your emotions want to cry, honor them and cry. If they ask for a nap, go take a nap. If you need to process a hard truth, do that, and integrate what you have learned in your life. Honor your emotions like you would a messenger from the most important you can think of. Because isnt that what they, in fact, are?
- Self-soothe: Focus on your 5 senses, take a walk, use a heavy blanket, light a candle, watch a comforting show, have a cup of chamomile tea. With big feelings, there is an art of getting in and then getting out of them. Once you’ve felt them, remember that you can actively come back to the present moment, focus on the task at hand and not fall down the negative thinking rabbit hole.
I still have conversations with my emotions daily and now have mastered the art of self-soothing. But life is life and the curve-balls will keep coming, so the more we keep practicing the easier it becomes to come back to a calm and centered state of being.
Please always remember that Feelings don’t cause you stress or pain or anxiety, trying not to feel them does.
I’m here for you if you need help in regulating your emotions
Tell me- How do you handle big emotions?
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